4 Ways to Make Sure No One Ever Reads Your Blog

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Is your blog writing just too darn genius? Do you have way too many readers? Are you constantly applauded for your amazing blog marketing and want it to stop? If you answered ‘yes’ to one or more of these, then make sure you implement these sure-to-fail blogging techniques as soon as possible! (Everybody else, feel free to use this list as a “How not to blog” reminder:)

1.) Write Flat, Boring Headlines: If you’re looking to repel readers in record time, make sure you put no thought into your headlines. This way, you’re sure to come up with stale wording that won’t inspire folks to come back. Otherwise, you may fall into the trap of writing snappy headlines, which is an easy way to rope in new audiences. And be careful, because the Internet is filled with articles on just how to do just that.

2.) Over-promote Your Blog: Here’s one we’ve seen a lot lately… Some bloggers go bananas on the promotion and cover every corner of the Internet and any social media platform that will stand still with “Read my blog!!” desperation pleas. If you’re trying to get your hit count down, too much online marketing is a great way to turn readers off. You know you can’t afford to relax and count on readers to reject you, especially with all that great content and your solid (but not hyperactive) blog marketing plan. A simple blog and then tweet combo is the devil in these situations.

3.) Don’t Try Anything New: Haven’t had any luck growing your blog using your old methods? That’s great… By all means, don’t change a thing. But supposing you get to a place where you want to grow your audience, why not try something new that you’ve always wanted to try? Think your blog would be a hit on Google+? Want to dip your toes into the guest-blogging waters? Ready to pepper your blog with amazing interviews? Now is the time! Fresh content needs fresh ideas so mix it up — but only if you want people to read what you’ve written. Think about it.

4.) Stop Being Passionate: Try write about things you don’t love and just watch the readers drop like flies. Seriously, the No. 1 blogging-for-business killer has got to be a lack of passion. Readers can sniff out a bored blogger from a mile away. The thing is if you are unhappy and hate what you’re writing, chances are your readers will too! Don’t be afraid to try this one if you’re hoping to send your readership figures into single digits.

Now go out there and “meh” everybody to death!

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